When people ask me what I think about something I ask them if they want to know what I think or what I (intuitively) get. What I think shouldn’t, and doesn’t matter. What I get, however, could shine a light on the situation, the insight of which could change everything. The three most pressing and most frequently asked questions clients request are; “Am in the right job (relationship, place, etc.)?,” “What is my purpose?,” and “Why does life have to be so hard?”
The answers to these questions are simple and clear. However, the work we do to get the place where we can hear the clarity and accept the simplicity takes conscious and intentional effort. The degree to which this work is experienced as difficult, or, not, is the degree to which we are willing to consider something different, try something knew, and shift our mind-filters of limited thinking.
When our willingness is authentic we position ourselves in alignment with direct access to the clarity and simplicity, both of which, with our beliefs of limitation set aside, can become absurdly obvious.
Many clients, hungry to break free from their struggle, will insist, “No beating around the bush, I want you to give it to me straight, ” which I honor by offering a clear and direct answer. If you’re not used to being on the receiving end of this kind of intense, direct, and unfiltered insight, it can feel like having the wind knocked out of you. In most cases—with a laugh of discomfort and a hint of amusement—the client will resubmit their request with, “Okay, maybe no that straight,” giving me clearance to soften the edges of the guidance.
When we explore the question around being in the “right job”, or the “right relationship”, or, more recently, many young people are inquiring if they are in the “right gender/body;” the answer to each offers the same clarity and simplicity. In each case, the guidance comes through something like this:
What if where we are in this moment is exactly where we are supposed to be? Because…it’s where we are. If there were somewhere else we should be, and something else we should be doing, we would be there, now, doing it.
So, you’re off the hook, right on track, job well done.
Next we might consider how where we are and what we are doing either works for us, or doesn’t work for us. If where we are is working for us, keep doing what we’re doing. If where we are is not working for us, its time to do something different.
A definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results. What we focus on informs our beliefs about what is possible for ourselves. What we give our focus to influences our thoughts, words, and actions and aligns us with where we are, what we are doing, and our experience of both.
We’re never “stuck” anywhere or with anything. If we want to create something different we have to shift our perspective, make a change, and do something different. I invite clients to consider the possibility that where we are and what we are experiencing are an appropriate match to what we have been focusing on, projecting, and giving our attention to.
What if the gift of where we are is the opportunity to practice shifting our focus and shifting our experience. What we resist persists and– giving our focus to what we don’t want–further expands and intensifies the experience of what we don’t want. When we stop resisting the facts of what-is and accept it for the possibility of what it is—the facts of our situation but not the truth of our potential—we change the direction of our focus. In doing so, we shift our point of attraction and will either find peace with where we are and what we are doing, or, no longer be a match for either, creating the opportunity for a more appealing and appropriate option to present itself. And when it does, move on it.
So, what are you resisting that keeps persisting? Where are you feeling out of alignment with where you are and what you are doing, and how might you change your focus and give your attention to that which supports creating something different?
Imagine what is possible if we were to redirect our focus on to the things in our life that nurture our emotional, metal, and physical health and wellness. Lets give ourselves permission to get excited about discovering what feeds our spirit? We don’t have to look too far to find them, they are already right in front of us. We just have change our mind about what we think we are looking at, and consider there is a possibility the experience is trying to show us, the seeing of which could change everything.
Do not be deceived by the perceived simplicity of the clarity in this guidance. Give up having to see it to believe it. Rather, believe it so that you can see it. If I had a dime for every time shift happened when I changed my mind about something … $$
Shift happens. Go for it.
I look forward to our next Talk Story Café visit where we’ll take a look at that second of the three most frequently asked questions, “What is my purpose?” Now, that’s a yummy conversation.
